I’m graduating from college tomorrow. I don’t really know how I feel about this. 

Today was my last day of student teaching. 

It was unfortunately uneventful.  Because it was day 6 of the rotation I had two hours of planning period first thing, and then I only had to teach one class of 3rd grade.  They were very unruly and talkative.  We accomplished everything we set out to do though.

I told them it was my last day and was met with blank stares and a couple “huh?”.  Oh well.  I didn’t think I would have left much of an impression on the kids.  Because of the rotation schedule I only saw each class five times.  So some of those kids only saw me five times as a teacher total.  Some less because I wasn’t teaching everything from my first week on.  It was ok though. 

Also, I moved out of my dorm today.  That was quite sad.  I’ve lived in the same room with the same roommate for the last 3 years.  So clearing it all out and looking at it empty was hard. 

Spent the rest of the day moving things home.  Some of my extended family is coming in for graduation tomorrow, so I’ll have to clean up my room so they’ll be able to stay in it.  And I’ll get to sleep on the floor in one of my sisters’ rooms.  Yay.

Need to start packing up my dorm stuff to move out :( 

I wish I still had time to play Quidditch like I did last year. That would be awesome! 

Maybe to make myself feel better… 

Anyone else getting ready to student teach in a music class or a band/orchestra/choir?  And are you scared out of your mind at the thought of it?  Or is that just me?

So Much Stuff… 

So, I got my background check forms sent back to me because I didn’t include my fingerprint card.

Well, I had given it to one of the teachers I’ve been private lesson-ing under so I could get paid properly, and he said he would turn it all in!  But apparently something didn’t happen, so now I have to re-turn in forms that should’ve been taken care of a month ago, so that I’ll be able to student teach in a week. 

I feel like this isn’t going to work out very well…  :-/ 

Ontop of that, I just got an email from my supervising professor, and we have to have a professional resume printed out to bring in for our seminar days next week (which are gonna last from 8:30 to 3, and I am just not looking forward to), so I have to get on that. 

I just feel like everything is going wrong with my student teaching stuff and I haven’t even started it yet!  I’m so stressed out, and I wish I was just going back for regular classes this semester.  I’m so scared.  :(

I want to, but should I…? 

So, more ramblings on the buying-a-horse issue…

I feel like now would be a pretty good time to do it.  I’m about to be out of college (next semester is my last) and am going in to a field where I should be able to find work fairly easily - music education, and I’ll be qualified to teach k through 12 - so having money shouldn’t be an issue then.  I’ve also got quite a bit of money saved up, so I would have a starting point.

If I went ahead and bought my horse, I wouldn’t have to budget it in later.  Maybe that’s a bad reason to do it.  But I would much rather have the horse and budget around that instead of having my budget all planned out and have to try to fit the horse in.  I am quite prepared to live in a tiny apartment and survive on the Ramen diet if that’s what it takes to have my horse.

Of course, I’ve also got the issue of not having a car.  I went to college in my hometown so that I could save with in-state tuition, and so I’d be closer to Dolly, and that also meant I was able to share a car with my sister (our parents bought this as a car for us to learn to drive in, so we’d be able to take ourselves places, etc.).

This means that I don’t have a car of my own though because the situation I was in was working out well.  I know that that’s going to be something I really need to get done, and probably before the horse.  I just would rather not (because I want the horse first… :P).  So, I’m also looking for cheap cars with good gas mileage - can’t afford a gas guzzler when I’ve got a horse to pay for. 

So, am I being crazy here?  Should I just forget about this dream of mine until after I’ve gotten out there and settled into my career?  Or is this something I could go ahead and do, as long as I was careful with managing my money?

I’d love to hear any advice, thoughts or comments.  Any help is appreciated.

Sooo Close… 

Bipolar Student Case Study - DONE

Instrument Repair Paper - DONE

Fulbright Writing Requirement - Close, so very close…

Senior Recital - 4 hours and 7 minutes til…

I’m so close to being done.  I mean, I’ve still got finals next week… but that’s gonna be cake compared to all this stuff I’ve had to finish this week  :P

I’m a Music Major!…. 

But right now, I just wish I wasn’t.  I sometimes don’t know if I made the right decision four years ago to go into music when I didn’t think I could handle veterinary medicine.  Sometimes I think I should’ve majored in art.  I just wanna doodle and draw, and art makes me happy!

Also, I’d rather be doing some kind of big painting project for my final, instead of writing a bazillion paper on instrument repair.  :P

Sometimes I don’t know if I even want to be a teacher.  I’m very worried that I won’t be good enough.  I’m very very worried that my ear isn’t good enough to be a band director.

Blah, why didn’t I have all these realizations when I was a freshman, instead of a senior about to go out and student teach?!?

My homework buddies! 

Obviously I am distracted and not getting as much done as I should.  :P

Harry Potter Weekend! 

I have a lot of distractions today.  Harry Potter Weekend being one of them.  The internet and my boyfriend being a couple of the others.  :P 

But I will succeed!  I am planning to finish my Bipolar Disorder project and lesson plans, and then get a start on my Pedagogy paper and finish another section of my Instrument Repair paper.  Maybe I’ll even practice my flute in preparation for my recital  :3 

I feel like I can do anything right now!  Let’s see how long this lasts.

I’m feeling sickish… 

As if my procrastination problem wasn’t enough.  I can’t afford to be sick right now!  I have too much stuff to do still  :P 

Blah.  All I wanna do right now is sleep and it’s not even 10…

7 Days… 

I have 7 days left of classes before winter break!  I’m so ready for this to be done.  Thanksgiving was much too short.  I need to write two papers, finish a project and prepare for my senior recital.

And I think procrastination just set in… :P

This is my problem exactly.