All I wanna do is cuddle. But boyfriend is 85+ miles away.
I hate this.
I shouldn’t be. I have plenty of friends and family and my boyfriend that all care about me. I got to see all of them this weekend even.
But they aren’t here…
I miss Jon so much. He stayed up here with me all last week, and even though I didn’t get to see him all day, it was so nice to come home and have him waiting.
It was only a week, but coming home tonight and him not being there was a strange feeling. A sad feeling. :( This long distance thing sucks. We won’t even get to be together for Valentine’s Day.
I miss him.
I was doing pretty well for the last few days, because I was super busy and didn’t have time to think.
And now I just feel very sad. I miss Jon. I really want to talk to him. I’m worried about what’s going to happen.
I don’t like this. :’(
And not to me.
There’s someone coming to try him out soon. And I don’t know how anyone could turn him down. :(
It’s only been about a week since I’ve seen him, but it feels so much longer. I need my boy :(
And now I’m terrified that since I’m not there to ride him anymore he might be sold. I would buy him if I could, but I don’t know if I could afford him right now.
Blah. I should be happy, I’m getting started on my career, taking a big step in my life… but it’s hard being away from him.
Ha, this sounded like something I’d write about Jon. Don’t get me wrong, I miss him terribly too, but I at least can text him and talk with him on the phone, and that makes it a little easier. I have no way to communicate with Navigator.
He doesn’t know why I haven’t been out to see him. He just knows that I haven’t. :(
At least for a while. This weekend I’m moving two hours away to start my new job as a teacher. :(
It’s really not that far, and I’ll probably be able to come back some weekends for visits… But I’m going to be really busy at first. I don’t know when I’ll get to come back.
Navigator is lame :( Poor baby. I don’t even know what happened. He was perfectly fine the last time I rode him before vacation.
And it’s something in his hip it looks like. :(
My feelings are all over the place right now, but fall mostly into this (very broad) of category:
And also this:
I mean, as I went along through the book I knew it wasn’t going to end totally happy, there was no way it could, so I was kind of like:
And people kept dying, and there were arguments and confusion, and Peeta was crazy so:
But then Prim died and I was just like:
And everything from then on was like a downward spiral into:
(Actually, the downward spiral started pretty much at the beginning of the book)
And even on the last page, when it was all over and it was as happy as it could be, it still wasn’t happy. And it never will be.
I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. Suzanne Collins, why did you do this to me?!? I can’t even tell if I liked the book or not because it caused so many conflicting emotions in me (and most of them not positive!). Blah.
I’m gonna have to find something super light and easy to read next. I don’t think I can handle much more emotional trauma like this any time soon.
It was unfortunately uneventful. Because it was day 6 of the rotation I had two hours of planning period first thing, and then I only had to teach one class of 3rd grade. They were very unruly and talkative. We accomplished everything we set out to do though.
I told them it was my last day and was met with blank stares and a couple “huh?”. Oh well. I didn’t think I would have left much of an impression on the kids. Because of the rotation schedule I only saw each class five times. So some of those kids only saw me five times as a teacher total. Some less because I wasn’t teaching everything from my first week on. It was ok though.
Also, I moved out of my dorm today. That was quite sad. I’ve lived in the same room with the same roommate for the last 3 years. So clearing it all out and looking at it empty was hard.
Spent the rest of the day moving things home. Some of my extended family is coming in for graduation tomorrow, so I’ll have to clean up my room so they’ll be able to stay in it. And I’ll get to sleep on the floor in one of my sisters’ rooms. Yay.
I just want everyone to be happy. You all are worth something to me.
I am always here to talk if you need it friends <3